Illustration by John Martz |
I graduated from Berkeley High School (Go Stags!) way back
in 2004. That’s right, 10 years ago. Back when Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake
got nasty during the Super Bowl and nobody knew what an iPhone was. All that
means is that my 10 year reunion is coming up soon, like in a few weeks. While
I’m pretty confident and excited about my accomplishments over the past 10
years, no one at the reunion really cares about that stuff. They’ll be
more interested in asking the important questions,
like “Who shrunk miraculously like Jonah Hill?”, “Who ballooned to sumo
wrestler-like proportions?” and “Which ugly duckling turned into Kate Moss?”
I’d say as much as 80% of the interest in these things is how well has everyone
aged. How does everyone look? And what you wear can really tell that story in a
good way or a bad way. So here’s a few tips on how to put the best version of
you on display and make that old flame or crush rethink their adolescent
decisions.
Look 1
A navy suit is really the safest option. It requires very
little commitment because it can be reused for just about any occasion. It
would certainly be the most versatile use of your money. To help spice things
up a bit, nix the white shirt and go for something a little less “business
officey” and insert a patterned shirt. I like this one from Gant Rugger. It has
a cool wave motif in the of-the-moment shade of indigo. Also, feel free to have
some fun with the shoes and opt for the just-released Adidas x Pharrell
Williams collaboration on the iconic Stan Smith sneakers. Done in all black and
with the three stripes stripped, they’re very understated. It’s sure to help
bring things together seamlessly.
Look 2
If you’re looking to spice things up a bit more, go for this
glen plaid number by J.Crew. Constructed from English wool, it’s sure to keep
those fall winds at bay. With so much eye candy going on with the suit, its
best to keep the shirt and tie solid. For the shoes, go the unpredictable route
and forgo the oxfords for a leather desert boot. It has the ruggedness of being
a boot to go along with the English countryside origins of the suiting fabric,
but at the same time the look is still elegant due to the supple leather.
Look 3
Last but surely not least, even if the waistline hasn’t been
kind to you over the years there’s still something for you too. Suit Supply is
a fairly new brand (started in 2000 but didn’t begin to make real noise until
recently), so they don’t offer separates yet. But their sizing goes up to a 50
inch chest and 44 inch waist. Your best bet is to go for a striped options. The
vertical lines will help create the illusion of height, which will in turn help
you appear slimmer. It has a notch lapel as opposed to the peak which will only
draw more attention to your broad chest. Speaking of which, skip the pocket
square, which draws attention to your chest too. And lastly, the fit is highly
important. You want there to be zero break from the pant hem to the shoe to help
maintain that vertical line which (let’s say it together now) makes you look
taller and slimmer.
So I've just given you three different ways to absolutely break necks at your high school reunion. So take your pick, keep head held high, and knock em dead.
Edited by Felicity Rhode
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